today i am 29 and i am so very fortunate.
Two Sundays ago our pastor gave a sermon about the spiritual disciplines of frugality and sacrifice. He showed us the very brilliant advent conspiracy video and proceeded to admit that he had become very comfortable with his American lifestyle.
Last Sunday, Jill Briscoe spoke to us about missions and what she has seen recently in the world.
i think i wept through the entire sermon.
NPR tells me everyday of world events, both catastrophic and ordinary. And I think, there must be a better way.
I remember reading a snippet about how change has always come from small, disadvantaged, minority groups. These fringes of society have literally been catalysts for periods of significant change in our history.

I don't really know where i am going with this, but i just wanted to write it down...
and i want to be that person.

Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”
~Book of Matthew

we are heading to Ottawa on Friday, for a long awaited visit to Sean's family. I am ready for this time away. I am very ready.

i feel so exasperated right now, not with my marriage, not with me being pregnant, just with where i am at.
We moved to Appleton, WI. Actually, we didn't even move to Appleton, which has a population of about 200,000. We moved to Menasha. When our friends heard this, they said, 'Oh, you mean, Metrasha?" It's not that bad, really, it isn't.
This is a beautiful area, but. When you have to put the word but after a positive statement i think it pretty much nullifies the beginning of the sentence. I miss Milwaukee and our ability to walk and bike to church, to the grocery store, most every place, actually. I miss my job, which i loved. Granted, it wasn't what I ultimately want to do, (missions, international, etc) but I enjoyed it, i really did. I liked getting up knowing i was going to this particular job. That says a lot. My boss gave me responsibility and I feel like i did a really good job.
And now, I am back in the coffee shop world. I am 28 and I feel like i have settled. I felt pressured to get a job, any job, and that is what i did, got any job. I am frustrated on so many levels over this job, is it really worth the 8 bucks an hour. The pay isn't even the biggest deal. I worked for very minimal while i was in Scotland, but it didn't matter, because i loved it and it was where I was supposed to be.
i am not even going to go back and edit these silly paragraphs.
I am on the job search again, and i leave with Psalm 77

I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.
You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.I have considered the days of old,
The years of ancient times.
I call to remembrance my song in the night;
I meditate within my heart,
And my spirit makes diligent search.
Will the Lord cast off forever?
And will He be favorable no more?
Has His mercy ceased forever?
Has His promise failed forevermore?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?...
...Your way was in the sea,
Your path in the great waters,
And Your footsteps were not known.
You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron.

we have a movie theater near us that has $2 Tuesdays,
we saw Iron Man.
It was a pretty good film for what it was, but the absolute best part was at the end.
The credits were rolling, and a little boy, about 5, came out of the aisle adjacent to us,
His arms were outstretched in the biggest stance that he could muster,
lips pursed with toughness,
staring straight at me.
I knew who he was, this was obvious, but i wanted to ask him anyway, really, the only question that could be asked in a moment like this,
"Are You Iron Man?"
He uttered no words, he didn't have to, the look on his face was answer enough. He straightened even more, and with all seriousness, continued to flex his tiny little muscles, and stare Sean and I down with Iron Man-like strength.
I giggled, Sean laughed and this little guy gave us the biggest smile.
He was Iron Man.

The move is over,
sort of,
right now, there are remnants in every room,
i have such a hard time finishing things, and this is proved by the large amount of half opened boxes that are now congregating in our extra bedroom. I wander into the room every 1/2 hour or so and grab something to soothe my guilty conscience about avoiding this room altogether.
We have an extra bedroom, which i have always wanted, but now i am hesitant about filling it with extra stuff. Maybe if i loved cleaning or lifting heavy things, i wouldn't mind filling it with a bed or a dresser or something room appropriate.
When you move, you become very aware of the amount of stuff that you have accumulated. I am a sucker for a bargain; that fleur de lis ceramic garden plate that was 50c at Value Village, just doesn't seem to be so necessary when all of your possessions are being carted down and then up another set of stairs.
Simplicity is good.
I am going to go make some hummus and continue to avoid those half opened boxes.
Cheers.