i feel so exasperated right now, not with my marriage, not with me being pregnant, just with where i am at.
We moved to Appleton, WI. Actually, we didn't even move to Appleton, which has a population of about 200,000. We moved to Menasha. When our friends heard this, they said, 'Oh, you mean, Metrasha?" It's not that bad, really, it isn't.
This is a beautiful area, but. When you have to put the word but after a positive statement i think it pretty much nullifies the beginning of the sentence. I miss Milwaukee and our ability to walk and bike to church, to the grocery store, most every place, actually. I miss my job, which i loved. Granted, it wasn't what I ultimately want to do, (missions, international, etc) but I enjoyed it, i really did. I liked getting up knowing i was going to this particular job. That says a lot. My boss gave me responsibility and I feel like i did a really good job.
And now, I am back in the coffee shop world. I am 28 and I feel like i have settled. I felt pressured to get a job, any job, and that is what i did, got any job. I am frustrated on so many levels over this job, is it really worth the 8 bucks an hour. The pay isn't even the biggest deal. I worked for very minimal while i was in Scotland, but it didn't matter, because i loved it and it was where I was supposed to be.
i am not even going to go back and edit these silly paragraphs.
I am on the job search again, and i leave with Psalm 77
I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.
You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.I have considered the days of old,
The years of ancient times.
I call to remembrance my song in the night;
I meditate within my heart,
And my spirit makes diligent search.
Will the Lord cast off forever?
And will He be favorable no more?
Has His mercy ceased forever?
Has His promise failed forevermore?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?...
...Your way was in the sea,
Your path in the great waters,
And Your footsteps were not known.
You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron.
Comments (1)
heyy! So, I had a very real and vivid dream about you last night...
it went kind of like, I was at my induction day at college because my parents made me go 'try it out'. I remember you reading out my time schedule with classes I had and I just burst into tears from frustration. But, you were there... giving me that 'need to talk?' kind of look. I went on to spill everything that's been heavy on my heart - since you were in scotland practically. I remember thinking in my dream while I was talking and venting how selfish I was for only talking about my problems and issues when I hadn't seen you in MONTHES and monthes and that you had way more cool, important and amazing things to talk about. LIKE BEING PREGNANT!! Oh. my. actual. word. I found out a few weeks ago, but haven't congratulated you yet myself. So, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm soooo entirely happy for you!!! :))
I love you, I miss you. It was good to see your face for a while, even if it was in my dream.xxxxxxx