today i am 29 and i am so very fortunate.
Two Sundays ago our pastor gave a sermon about the spiritual disciplines of frugality and sacrifice. He showed us the very brilliant advent conspiracy video and proceeded to admit that he had become very comfortable with his American lifestyle.
Last Sunday, Jill Briscoe spoke to us about missions and what she has seen recently in the world.
i think i wept through the entire sermon.
NPR tells me everyday of world events, both catastrophic and ordinary. And I think, there must be a better way.
I remember reading a snippet about how change has always come from small, disadvantaged, minority groups. These fringes of society have literally been catalysts for periods of significant change in our history.

I don't really know where i am going with this, but i just wanted to write it down...
and i want to be that person.

Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”
~Book of Matthew

we are heading to Ottawa on Friday, for a long awaited visit to Sean's family. I am ready for this time away. I am very ready.

i feel so exasperated right now, not with my marriage, not with me being pregnant, just with where i am at.
We moved to Appleton, WI. Actually, we didn't even move to Appleton, which has a population of about 200,000. We moved to Menasha. When our friends heard this, they said, 'Oh, you mean, Metrasha?" It's not that bad, really, it isn't.
This is a beautiful area, but. When you have to put the word but after a positive statement i think it pretty much nullifies the beginning of the sentence. I miss Milwaukee and our ability to walk and bike to church, to the grocery store, most every place, actually. I miss my job, which i loved. Granted, it wasn't what I ultimately want to do, (missions, international, etc) but I enjoyed it, i really did. I liked getting up knowing i was going to this particular job. That says a lot. My boss gave me responsibility and I feel like i did a really good job.
And now, I am back in the coffee shop world. I am 28 and I feel like i have settled. I felt pressured to get a job, any job, and that is what i did, got any job. I am frustrated on so many levels over this job, is it really worth the 8 bucks an hour. The pay isn't even the biggest deal. I worked for very minimal while i was in Scotland, but it didn't matter, because i loved it and it was where I was supposed to be.
i am not even going to go back and edit these silly paragraphs.
I am on the job search again, and i leave with Psalm 77

I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.
You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.I have considered the days of old,
The years of ancient times.
I call to remembrance my song in the night;
I meditate within my heart,
And my spirit makes diligent search.
Will the Lord cast off forever?
And will He be favorable no more?
Has His mercy ceased forever?
Has His promise failed forevermore?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?...
...Your way was in the sea,
Your path in the great waters,
And Your footsteps were not known.
You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron.